More jokes

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.
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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents,
so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to
have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the
repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

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A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she
picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's ! a thermos . . . it keeps some
things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the
thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".

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Two factory workers were talking.

"I think I'll take some time off from work,'' said the man.

"How do you think you''ll do that?" asked the BLONDE.

He proceeded to climb the rafters and hung upside down.

The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what in the world he was doing.

"I'm a light bulb,'' answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off,'' declared the boss.

So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory.

The BLONDE saw her chance and started to walk out too.

The boss questioned her, "And where in the world do you think you are going?"

The BLONDE answered, ''Home, I can't work in the dark.''
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The Top 10 Dumbest Inventions

10. Black Highlighter
9. Braille Driver's Manual
8. Clear Correction Fluid
7. Fake Rhinestones
6. Inflatable Dart Board
5. Mesh Umbrella
4. Motorcycle Air Conditioner
3. Sugar-Coated Toothpaste
2. Super-glue Post-it Notes

AND THE NUMBER ONE STUPID INVENTION?
1. The system that allows you to report power failure via the Internet.
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
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If a cow snorted when it laughed would milk come out of her nose?
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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice that when you put the two words
"The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?
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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, " This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices there are five old ladies--two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour," the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" is the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These ladies seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."
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